What is a Healthy Relationship?

You know you are in a healthy relationship when you can be yourself and you accept your partner as he is. You do not try to change them or mold them into who you think they should be or who you need them to be. You don’t have that right and it is very controlling. The fact is, you don’t know who they […]

Adapting to Retirement

Suddenly, the world seems to have slowed down, you wake up in the morning and there is no job to go rushing off to, no traffic to fight, no huge project to finish or meeting to prepare for…now what? Some men adapt very easily and have no trouble finding things to do and ways of filling their days. […]

Are You Stuck in Shame?

How many times did you hear growing up that “You should be ashamed of yourself!”? We had done something wrong and should have known better, and so part of our scolding included our parents making sure we felt shame hoping that would keep us from making the same mistake again. Most learned that concept so […]

Do You Have Attention Deficit?

It shouldn’t be any surprise to me that since a large percentage of people I see in therapy are over 50 years old, that we are discovering that many of them have ADD or ADHD and have never been diagnosed. “Attention Deficit Disorder” or ADD is a fairly common diagnosis in school-age children, especially if it is combined with hyperactivity or ADHD. […]

Attention Deficit: Misdiagnosed and Co-occurring Mental Health Issues

In my previous article on Attention Deficit Disorder or (ADD), I described many of the classic symptoms and discussed the fact that so many adults still suffer with it and were never diagnosed or treated as children. In fact, “up to 60% of children retain their symptoms into adulthood” (Regina Bussing, M.D. and John M. Grohol, […]

Attention Deficit and Addiction

The chances of developing an addiction goes way up for people with ADD and “untreated ADD, is one of the leading causes of substance abuse in America today”. Studies of adults with ADD have found: a) co-occurring alcohol abuse disorders at rates ranging from 17% to 45%, b) drug abuse or dependence at rates ranging […]

Relationships

So many things impact relationships causing increased stress and mixed feelings, resentments, anger, sadness, and fear of what could happen if things don’t get better. Couples complain that “no matter what I do it’s never enough” stating that he/she is “never satisfied”. Our expectations of our partner can often be unrealistically high and in other cases he/she may not be fulfilling their role in the […]

Learn to say “NO” and put yourself first!

A very dear friend of mine spent her life caring for others, always putting everyone else’s needs first. This beautiful attribute led to a long career in nursing. Over the years, it became such an engrained habit, that she forgot or never learned how to meet her needs and desires, or how to put herself […]

Life is a Process

    I will never forget when I was going through a very difficult and challenging time, a friend of mine quoted something he had heard in AA, that “life is a process, not a series of events” impressing upon me that things are not going to get better overnight and the answers don’t always come as quickly as […]

Have You Learned to Forgive?

One ex-prisoner of war asked another, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?” The second one replied, “No, never.” And the other turned and said, “Then it seems like they still have you in prison, don’t they?” (Cover of “Spirituality and Health”, Winter 1999) Are you still being held captive? Are you still trapped in your anger and resentment for what has been done to you? […]